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Lingerie buying
for Men: The do's and don't of buying lingerie for
the woman in your life, and why not following the
rules can be a disaster.
This articles stands for the proposition
that men want and need to buy lingerie for the
women in their lives. That said there is a growing
need for information to help men choose the right
lingerie for the women in their lives, as often
the purchase is a gift for a special occasion. In
the past these special occasions were a honeymoon,
anniversary or vacation. Relationships today are
perhaps no more complicated than in the past, but
it is clear that lingerie is growing in popularity
due to a number of factors. Special occasions can
be a soldier returning from a tour of duty, a
weekend away coupled with a still camera or even a
video camera to preserve the festivities or a
lingerie party or role playing party complete with
cameras.
As women continue to express themselves in the
clothing they wear, lingerie is a major apparel
line that women wear in intimate settings as well
as increasingly as outer wear. Next is the
exploding popularity of online sites such as
Voyeurweb, YouPorn and the explosion of blogs that
range from the mundane to the extremely intimate.
How does this factor in you ask? With the ability
and desire to upload pictures and videos of women
in their lingerie and less, lingerie is gaining a
greater visibility every day. With MySpace as the
big dog on the porch, at least at this time,
women, and the men who love to look at them
express themselves in their favorite lingerie
ensemble. The truth is that lingerie is here to
stay, and men need to get better at buying it, not
just looking at it.
You might agree that women in lingerie in
magazines, on television, and even on the net are
nothing particularly new. Men though, haven't
really kept up with the growth in availability of
lingerie as well as the demand. Men know what they
like, but that doesn't always translate to the
women in their lives. That model on the billboard
probably had water and fig leaves for dinner,
which accounts for the wafer thin waist, and
gynormous breasts that were store bought. While I
have nothing against enhanced breasts, in fact I
adore them; I think men need to think, a lot,
before they buy lingerie for the special woman in
their lives. Many men complain that their wives
and girlfriends don't wear the lingerie they buy
them. This is due, at least in part to the
possibility the lingerie was likely bought to
fulfill a man's fantasy without consideration that
the woman who has to wear the outfit is a real
flesh and blood girl who may have some concerns
about such things as modesty, body image or she
simply "wouldn't be caught dead wearing that
outfit".
Buying beautiful, sensitive and intelligent woman
lingerie is not the same as fantasizing about that
chick in the magazine. Giving some thought to the
purchase before the fact will improve the chance
that the purchase is worn, appreciated and who
knows what other benefits he may receive. That
subject will be covered at some later date.
Whenever buying another person a gift one should
consider a couple of factors. If you have ever
purchased a young child a toy that was not on
their list of favorites, the resulting reaction
might be an indicator or what that special woman
in your life feels when she gets a hot pink panty
set that barely gets above her knees. No, women
are not like children, it is just that not taking
her feelings into consideration, as well as her
height, weight or favorite colors may be the
beginnings of a gift that is not worn or
appreciated. Is it true that it is the thought
that counts? Of course not! If there was no or
very little thought put into the purchase of
lingerie, then perhaps it is the thought that
counts, and in fact counts for very little. The
thought of giving a woman an intimate gift of
lingerie that exposes her body and it is the wrong
size, too revealing for the woman's sense of
modesty, or the wrong color is just plain
insulting. Bad boy, shame on you!
This article is intended to navigate those dark
waters. A roadmap through the world of intimate
apparel, lingerie. A checklist for the uninformed
and ill advised. Really just a couple of
suggestions that should help men choose lingerie
appropriate for the occasion, and most importantly
the woman who will wear the lingerie.
So let’s get started. First and foremost is the
woman! Never lose sight of the fact that you are
buying lingerie for a living, breathing, thinking
creature. It is not like buying a toothbrush, or
even a sweater. Lingerie comes with a sexual
charge. That is one reason many men buy lingerie.
That sexual charge can be great, and it can be the
basis of disappointment. Unlike other gifts,
lingerie is the most intimate gift one can buy for
a woman. It is worn under her clothing away from
the prying eyes of other men and women, reserved
only for the special person in her life. Also, it
exposes some potential flaws, real or otherwise
that she likely doesn't like to advertise to
anyone, especially the man in her life. She may
think her butt is too big, her tummy is out of
shape or she needs a tan. True or not, these are
very real issues to her, and a lack of
consideration in buying sexy underwear can expose
some pretty sensitive feelings. Beware! You, as
the man in her life, know or should know about
these concerns, and you better take them
seriously. Put the shoe on the other foot for a
moment. Say, for the sake of this article you are
convinced that a certain part of your anatomy is
too large, or say you think you are too fat! Now,
your girl brings home a pair of thong underwear in
lime green for you to wear that makes your gut,
butt and everything else available to be seen, and
let’s say you are not too pleased. To add insult
to injury, say she wants to take your picture and
post it on the internet. How do you feel? Get the
picture?
Sensitivity to your lover is job number one,
numero uno! That said how do you buy lingerie that
addresses her needs? As difficult as it may sound,
you can improve your and her chances with a few
tips.
First, think about her, think about her likes,
dislikes in clothing, comments she may have made
about various fashion styles, celebrities, and her
comfort level when it comes to lingerie and
intimacy. Whew! If this sound a little like a
primer on relationships, it is and it isn't. The
truth is buying lingerie does require knowing
something about the recipient. Since it is a gift
that has a sexual charge, it definitely helps to
know about her likes and dislikes in and out of
the bedroom. Does this mean that you shouldn't buy
lingerie for someone you don't know a lot about?
Yes! I think we all agree we don't buy lingerie
for a parent, or even a sister, so it goes that
buying an intimate gift for a lover that we know
little to nothing about is a recipe for failure,
at best. I am not saying you can't buy your mother
a robe, or perhaps something else in the lingerie
store, but most of us realize that lingerie is
reserved for intimate partners.
Comfort level is important as everyone has a
different tolerance for things, as a man may enjoy
adult films and his otherwise compatible female
mate detests it for personal reasons. Tread gently
my friend. Lingerie should not become a test of
your and her political will. Understand her
comfort zone, and go beyond it at some risk. The
point here is to stretch her comfort zone, but any
attempt to violate it with no thought is
inconsiderate, and will likely do more harm than
good. Ask yourself does she like it when you
suggest new things, or is she more likely to
prefer her own tastes? Does she like the assertive
lead taker, or is she happy making all her own
decisions? Regardless of the answers, know your
lover, and her personality as well as her stated
limits.
Is it all that difficult? No, not really. Most men
know that their wives or girlfriends enjoy the
theatre or movies, staying at home or partying
until the police arrive, or skirts and heels or
sweats and flip flops. So don't turn it into
rocket science. If you don't know the woman’s
likes and dislikes, ask! What a concept! Ask her
if she would wear the outfit you are looking at in
the catalog. Ask her what she thinks about
Brittany Spears going commando. What does she
think about wearing a thong, or a mini skirt or
whatever? Whatever the answer is, you accomplish
at least two things. One you learn what she likes,
the other is you learn what she dislikes.
Step two is what I call- fact finding. Get the
information, gather the clues, and well you get
the idea. When she steps in the shower, or
preferably when she leaves to go to the store or
wherever, check out her panty drawer. Don't worry,
they won't bite. Check out her clothing,
preferably lingerie, panties and bras to get the
following information. Bra size, panty size, color
preferences, style preferences, size of her jeans,
skirts, blouses and yes, even her shoes. Somehow
get her weight, or at least an educated guess.
Every man should have a list of all his partners
sizes, preferences on his person at all times.
This is not arguable. Why? Simply, you cannot make
a purchase for this person without this
information- ever.
It takes ten minutes of your time, and should be
updated from time to time to take into account
weight loss, or gain, changes in comfort zones, if
any and color preferences! Every one has a
favorite color, maybe more than one and women are
no exception. Don't forget shoes, as a gift of
shoes could make you the king of her kingdom.
Buying shoes for a woman is not easy as styles
change often, women have specific preferences
based upon the season, the occasion, their unique
likes and dislikes and other factors unique to
her. If you can master buying shoes for the woman
in your life, then you have arrived! Let's start
with something a lot easier. Lingerie!
Now that you have an idea about her comfort zone,
as well as her sizes you are onto step three. Step
three is what I like to call surveying the
landscape. Huh? You have a general idea what she
likes; you know what she can fit into, now you
need to know what is available in the marketplace.
This will take a little longer than steps one and
two as they are easy while step three requires a
survey of the internet, and perhaps a visit to a
local store. The web is a vast shopping center
with literally thousands of sites that offer
lingerie, sex toys, accessories and sexy clothing.
The beauty of the internet shopping is offset
slightly by the disadvantage of being unable to
try items on. This can be a substantial
disadvantage in some cases. I suggest you shop
online but beware of a couple of things. Check out
their return policy and call them if you have any
questions about what can be returned. Second
understand your sizing as lingerie does not
generally follow conventional sizing due to the
nature of the lingerie, as well as deviations in
products made overseas where sizing is concerned.
Finally, remember that the model wearing the
outfit on the internet is likely 10-15 pounds
lighter in real life, is 5'4" tall before she puts
on the 5 inch platforms and the garment has been
pinned, tucked and perhaps altered to fit her body
like a second skin. She is a model, after all.
Even if your girlfriend is a model, or ought to
be, the garment will likely fit differently.
The benefits of internet purchases are generally
selection as few boutiques in your hometown will
carry the styles, colors and brands available on
line. Next, the cost of items online is generally
much lower than in retail stores. Finally is the
anonymity of buying sexy lingerie and adult sex
toys from your home is far different from driving
down to your local neighborhood adult store and
facing a female unfriendly environment. If you
have a store in your community that caters to
women with a good selection of sexy lingerie, toys
and DVD’s then that may be your best bet as long
as being anonymous is not a factor.
When you sit down to look at lingerie online, use
your, save as a favorite, function liberally. Why?
Because you are going to need to sit down with
your girl to refine the search, and perhaps make a
purchase or two. What should you look for when you
are searching alone? Here is where the information
you have previously gathered comes into play. What
is your woman's favorite feature? Her breasts? Her
legs, her butt, her tummy or her feet? This is
where you start. For instance if she has great
boobs, and she doesn’t' care who knows it, then a
bustier or a corset is a good option. The corset
accentuates the breasts, pushing them together, up
and out for a sexy look and feel. Does she have a
nice tummy with a sexy belly button ring? Then a
babydoll that shows off her stomach will likely
make a good fit. Does she have legs from the floor
to the ceiling that drive men wild? Then lingerie
set with stockings, garter belt and a matching bra
may be just the ticket.
What doesn't work? Stay away from missy sizes if
she is tall, or over 160-165 pounds. If she is
long waisted ignore the teddies and bodystockings.
Does she have very slender legs, stay away from
hosiery. Does she have a b donka donk butt? Stay
clear of one size fits most. Does she have nice
big boobs? Avoid boob out, or other unstructured
tops unless they have a sheer or fishnet component
and don't pretend to offer support.
Colors to avoid! All colors she doesn't like as
well as prints and designs that are risky as they
may just not be to her liking. Colors that are
safe- Black and White, perhaps red. Don't venture
too far here, unless you think she will like the
color, and it is compatible with her own skin
tones. Color and style are risky by their very
nature so tread carefully. You can experiment with
hot pink, fuchsia and other hot colors as these
garments are hot by their nature. While she may
not have hot pink as a favorite color, a lot of
lingerie is made in hot colors for dancers and
bedroom attire. If she is a little thick in the
tummy stay away from two piece sets that flaunt
the stomach area.
If she is a plus size woman the news is good as
more and more manufacturers are making sexy
lingerie for curvy girls. But be sure you
understand plus size sizing. Many women don't
understand it because plus size lingerie is sold
often in extra large, 1x through 6x. Be absolutely
certain before ordering, or ask the online
customer’s service representative exactly what
sizes will fit your ladies curves. Be prepared to
give the height, weight, breast size, waist size
in order to size her lingerie correctly. Be
careful when buying plus size lingerie that is
offered as one size fits most-plus. This is a bit
of a risk as a 1x is obviously not the same as a
3x. The manufacturers do this to make the garment
less expensive, not to make it easier for you to
buy it. The same applies to misses’ lingerie sold
as one size fits most-misses.
Caution: One size fits most is not one size fits
all. In the past manufacturers labeled these items
one size fits all. Through bad experience, the
labels have been changed to read one size fits
most, but many people assume that it means fits
all. It doesn't! Typically, but not always one
size fits most means up to 5'6" and up to 145
pounds. The one size fits most is very confusing
to most buyers, and must have a substantial
spandex content to fit. When ordering online the
word to the wise is: Order from a website that has
a toll free number with a live person to speak to.
Second order from a site that carries inventory.
The vast majority of sites are bedroom enterprises
that carry little or no inventory. Third beware of
sites that are drop shippers only. While drop
shipping is perfectly good, and larger sites
utilize some component of drop shipping, drop ship
only sites rarely have good product knowledge as
they may only ship from one manufacturer, and
since they carry no stock cannot develop product
knowledge when they do not have inventory to
actually pull the product and respond to specific
inquiries. Often the only option they have is to
call the manufacturer. Third ascertain how long
they have been in business on line. Do they have a
retail store. What is their google page rank?
Don't be afraid to ask as reputable businesses are
proud to answer those questions.
To Be Continued Part Two
Lingerie buying for Men: The do's and don’ts of
buying lingerie for the woman in your life, and
why not following the rules can be a disaster.
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